When I was a junior high student, I was very lonely, indifferent, or cool as some people said. For no reason, I didn’t like to talk to classmates. I didn’t care what they think or what they did. I was quiet and always busy on my own things. I had big problems in relating with others. I don’t know if you will agree me or not. Let me ask you a question. In your life, if you get rid of relationship with someone, what else do you have left in your life? I think there are only physical things left. And actually, that is terrible. So during my junior high and high school time, almost six years, I had a very hard time in school. I had no friends, and I didn’t think my parents understood me. I was suffering in my own selfishness and loneliness. In that time, I was unsure of the meaning of life; I couldn’t find anything worthwhile in my life; I hated my life, and even tried to commit suicide.
The first time I felt God’s power in me is from a sentence I heard somewhere. It said ‘There is a reason that God wants you to exist. ’ When I heard it, I made my own decision that someday I will find the reason. This sentence supported my life and became my spiritual stay until now. I want to know the reason I exist. And also, though I didn’t like to get along with people, in my deepest desire, I still wanted to have friends. So when I finally had a few friends, I was very careful about the relationship with them. I tried to do things to please them, trying to get their attention. But even though I tried hard, I still did not get the true friendship that I wanted. I couldn’t feel the LOVE that people pursue their whole life. I thought I couldn’t love or be loved. I couldn’t even feel it from my parents. Actually I was very tired about the unstable relationship and love. In the end, I even had fears about love.
When I came to college, I met Sara who is a missionary from America. My teacher knew her and asked her to have a Bible study for my class, just the same as we do now. So I went to her Bible study. At first, we had about 10 students. But it became 9, 8, 7……and finally only one student stayed. That was me. I just didn’t want to leave. The more I read the bible, the more I found out it was true and it’s the answer of the meaning of my life. And also it’s true that God is love, just as we talked about the four spiritual laws last week. God does not only love us, he also has a plan for us. I got totally free when I came to know God. Because he is so true, and he won’t change. He is always the same. His love won’t change like peoples’, he is perfect and stable. And I believe he loves me just as he told us. The Bible said ‘God will never abandon you or forsaken you. ‘ God is stable and he is our creator. Now, I don’t fear anymore. I can tell you that even if one day everyone in the world abandons me, I will still feel peaceful because God is always with me and he loves me from the beginning to the end.
I really want to see you guys believe in God, and that’s the reason why I am here and sharing my life story. If you have any questions or comments during our discussion, please feel free to speak. I hope all of you can enjoy tonight, and can come back every week to know God more.
